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Thursday, December 16, 2004

Life of the Party

It's interesting, really, how one is expected to have fun at a party. People think its all about drinking and talking. No one sits down to watch and listen. Maybe because I'm such a quiet person, that's what I do at a party. Watch and listen and think. Yeah, sure, it's loud. Okay, fine, it's weird. But it's plenty of fun. You find out so many things you didn't know.

Today I was at a party. The first real party that I've been to, I suppose, where I knew several people and could talk with just about anyone without feeling embarrassed. But did I? No, not that much. People see you being quiet in a corner and watching and laughing at the occasional funny thing and they think you're not having fun. Even when you tell them 'yeah, I'm enjoying myself', they still assume you aren't. Kinda funny, really. But I definitely enjoyed myself. Of course, it helped that she was there, but that was only part of it. Really, I'm just an oddball.

If I hadn't been at the party, I would have been right here, doing nothing productive, and alone. Very very alone. At a party, you aren't alone. You're surrounded by life. That's what appeals to me. Surrounded by life. By people. People you probably like, and some people that you perhaps do not. And when you have something to say, you say it. Sure. But in the meantime, I can watch and listen.

< sigh > Someday I'll learn to talk to people with ease about anything, just to talk, perhaps. But I'm quite happy without that. Seeing happiness (of which there is plenty at a party) is good. That's what I can live with. Seeing happiness. Causing happiness. Making people happy. If only for the gratitude.

And now I strayed from the topic at hand. Whatever.


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