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Friday, October 29, 2004

Mine is Not to Question Why

At least, that's what I consistently try to tell myself. Unfortunately, lately that hasn't been working. Maybe it's because all of a sudden I'm paying attention to the latter half - 'Mine is but to do and die'. Not a good thought. And what is there to distract me from this temporary depression and the onset of irrepressible feelings? Nothing, really. Friends - no offense to John, but that's just temporary. TV - again, temporary, and often doesn't even work. For some reason Eminem appears to have some effect. Programming? Can't do it. These feelings usually come coupled with 'programmer's block' - writer's block for my programming mind.

Maybe I could try writing. That is often effective. And yet, when I wrote A Thief in the 30s (, it was a relatively happy, if bored, time. Anything I've started at times of high temperament I've abandoned shortly thereafter. Reading? I haven't been able to focus on a book that I can't read in a day's worth of straight reading for the past year or so.

What else is there? Slip into sleep and try to forget everything else? That won't work. Parties? Right, me at a party. Just let me laugh. Not that I would have any to go to anyway.

The other thing that lets me get away from reality for about an hour and a half, I found out yesterday, is the DramaTech production of Picasso at the Lapin Agile. Very good play, and well done. And no, that isn't because my older brother is Picasso :).

Funny, it's precisely this kind of emotional dump on blogs that I always ridiculed. Well there you go. Becoming what I scorn. Add that to the list of things going wrong at this moment....


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